Jesus, Mary and Joseph....!!! (The Christmas Inc. review)

I’ve complained before about having to pay full price tickets to watch second rate primary school dress rehearsals. I was, in that post, making a most diplomatic reference to Feroze Kamaradeen’s monstrous productions but would now like to include, Surein de S. Wijeratne’s near-catastrophic direction of Christmas Inc., in the same category.

The show was about.....actually I have no idea. They waxed eloquent about it being a smart, original play that would expose the commercialism of Christmas. It didn’t do that. Or anything else for that matter.

Unsurprisingly, the programme offered no direction and was as vague as the show itself,

“So what is the play about? (AW’s note: who knows? Obviously the writer herself doesn’t) Perhaps it’s about the commercialism of Christmas. Perhaps it’s about the stress we put ourselves and our relationships under in times of celebration, and “for what?” Perhaps it’s just that nothing really makes sense in this life, and the only truly sane thing to do is find ways to laugh (AW’s note: in that hysterical sort of way you do when you’re being bombarded with an endless stream of stupidity). Perhaps it’s about getting some strength from the story of the birth of Jesus, from the peaceful moment when briefly value systems were challenged and rich men bowed down to a poor baby child.” (AW's note: as opposed to a poor baby adult, I suppose)

(AW’s note: “Perhaps, Perhaps, Perhaps....”)


On the up-side, the maddening script and ridiculous blocking gave the friend who came with me time to clear a text message inbox and delete other unwanted trash on the phone. It however kept me in awe for quite a while. To watch acTORS walk on-stage and deliver mundane Iines while singing long-winded songs was irritating. To watch them walk off-stage soon after, without giving the show any continuity while evoking ripples of laughter from the audience – was nothing if not strange. Is Colombo that easy to please? Did they not see the huge gaps in the script? Or hear the majority of actors deliver lines to the apron stage and no further? Or realise that scenes merged in this maddening way without the proper demarcation of timelines? Notice the without-purpose gestures that the acTORS made on stage? And worst of all, that the wretched acTORS had no mike training and repeatedly (and by that I really do mean over-and-over-and-over-and-over-again) thumped their chests and rustled their clothes so that what you heard most over the microphones was static and a muffled voice. Are these acTORS not trained before being unleashed on an unsuspecting public?

Christmas Inc. ran from 14-16 December and was a Kindergarten play that I should really have left after I had sat through the first four minutes of a ghastly overture which played (not the tunes of the songs to follow but awful, hackneyed Christmas songs and possibly some carols). Worse, the “overture” was played against the backdrop of an empty stage after it had been completely lit.

On the other hand, to have left then would mean that I would most certainly have missed a the real fun: watching the ensemble sing something along the lines of ‘I’ve never seen snow in Sri Lanka’ while they did these insane head-tilts. Head-tilts...... Head-tilts...... The kind you would see if you were in a nursery watching the children run around playing ‘aeroplanes’. Head-tilts. I say it repeatedly because thinking of it even now makes me laff and laff and this... makes my head tilt.

The lyrics of the songs were decent and the score was probably the best thing about the show but wasn’t there some stealing of the basic tune from one of King Herod’s songs from the musical Jesus Christ Superstar? And why were we made to watch that puppet show? It was particularly infantile and came at a time when I was getting increasingly irritated at the wiseman’s (Gehan Cooray’s character) silly tantrums. The costumes were nothing to write home about either – whose idea were those ridiculous trousers for the harem dance? Bleuch.

The choice of cast was poor at best and of the singers there were at least two sopranos who couldn’t hit the higher notes. By the way, who directed the singing in this show because there’s no mention in the programme. There was also no mention of the songs and the order of events. Which was particularly irritating because we weren't able to plan our escape effectively.

By all reports Surein de S. Wijeratne should have access to some of the most talented actors and actresses in the country but instead he chose to work with a group of 9 – 21 year olds and a sprinkling of 25-27 year olds thrown in for good measure. That the majority of actors didn’t stand out in this cast is, I think, an issue with the production or lack of it and less to do with an individual cast member’s skill. That said, Gehan Cooray did an excellent job of what was a poorly designed role: really is the only humorous aspect of people nowadays – their sexuality? Then of course, Ruveen Dias who faffed about the stage during Bengal Bungalow, really showed that he could act in Blood Brothers and came through again for Christmas Inc. Ashan Dias who promises to be a very good actor one day is always hiding behind the facade of a bumbling fool – why doesn’t someone trust him enough to give him a clever role? And Anupama Madhubashinie who overplayed the role a bit but seemed to be doing whatever she was asked to – well. Actors who weren’t necessary and made no impact whatsoever on the show: Mahesh Senaratne (the chief culprit of unclear words and mike-thumps), also Dominic Johnpillai, Lihini Wijeyratne and Anushka Senanayake. Damith Fernando and Irushi Tennekoon were posturing idiots, who played posturing idiots. It’s likely they might have done better under different direction, provided that Mr. Fernando loses his swagger and his uber-cool persona and that they both start acting. For a change.

All things considered it would be very kind of me to describe the show we sawas a second-rate dress rehearsal. Of course I support people for writing shows and arranging music themselves but there must be some standards imposed on the performance of that work. What would be best is if we could all rely on opinions of a group of reviewers who watch the show two to four weeks in advance and comment on its standard. As an example, a Kamardeen musical or comedy gets a rating of -5 while his unfunny plays get a rating of 1. Christmas Inc. however would have been rated -4.5 i.e. watch it only if you have to and your friends and lovers insist. Otherwise give it a skip and go to the office party/ family dinner/ put clothes in the washing machine - basically, the further you are from the venue the show’s at, the more likely it is that your brain won’t shrivel up and hide in your nostrils for the rest of the week.

How does one work so closely with Jerome de Silva for a decade or so and still suck at the basics of stagecraft?


(Image from Shehal's Flickr site: http://www.flickr.com/photos/shehal/2082312899/in/set-72157603358576428/