I know. I know.

The one thing that makes systems work (apart from bribery) is networks. And no one knows this better than Sri Lankans. Everyone here is someone’s-someone’s-someone. And this is why the ‘Hi!’ magazine is such a hit. It caters all too well, to our need to know and be known.

The same sort of principle applies to weddings and funerals – and while for the main part, weddings are riotously fun and mad, funerals are and will always be horrible horrible events. And still… people in Colombo need to know - this Nihal de Silva funeral is a perfect example of that. They need to know exactly what happened and when. And they need others to know that they know the real facts… so to speak.

It’s this that makes Colombo one of the most charming and irritating places to live. Whenever someone in Colombo dies, gets married or has a party – insane details are passed around – what was served, who was crying, who was there, what were they wearing…. a lot of information that I think is completely unimportant. But people need to know. And as anyone who’s ever tried to keep a secret in this town will tell you - they don’t stop until they do.

I’m sure everyone in every small town is exactly the same… I think ‘involved’ would be a nice way to put it. Which made me realise years ago, that if I wanted to stay on here and stay sane I’d have to accept that a) Colombo was small and b) people would know every insanely boring detail about my life and have their own take on it. If they didn’t, only then was I to be surprised. And to the person who taught me that – thank you.

Basically people can talk behind your back all they want... It hurts when people gossip but if they do, then it doesn’t really matter because gossip isn’t about you anyway. It’s more about them. And for this reason, it becomes unimportant and irrelevant to how you lead your life. You only need to sit up and take notice when they have the guts to say (whatever they have to say) to your face. Otherwise it doesn’t really matter at all.

And to the people who need to know. And need others to know they do – you’re cool. You’re dead cool, man. Keep on keeping on.