JVP. Same people who’ve happily stencilled their party symbol on the roads that we taxpayers pay for, without so much as an ‘if-you-don’t mind’. I would have turned tail and run if I had been given the option but I wasn’t. So I stood there. And chatted. And how I wish I hadn’t now.
Basically he wanted to know if I was Sinhalese. And here comes the history, I’m not. I’m half Tamil. I don’t understand a word of Tamil and I don’t subscribe to the LTTE’s nonsense. Neither does any member of my family. We’ve never lived in Jaffna so I don’t care when the place gets bombed, except in a sort of remote sort of way – same feeling I have for Kosovo, London and Rwanda really but I digress.
He asked me if I was Sinhalese… and I lied and said “yes”. I feel like I’m a traitor every time I do it but it’s an uneasy feeling when someone’s trying to pigeonhole me and I always want to run and hide somewhere. Who on earth asks these retarded questions anymore? Who gives whether someone’s Sinhalese or Tamil? I mean, who - other than the JVP… obviously. Bastards.
Then he wanted to know where I lived. And I said “Colombo” in my bland sort of way but couldn’t think of a plausible lie fast enough so when he pressed me for a proper location, I ended up giving him a proper answer because I couldn’t be rude to him and ask him why he needed this information. I absolutely hate being forced to give answers when I don’t want to.
You think when they send the cleansing squads out they’ll avoid my house because I lied? I hope so. Racist chauvinist pigs. I wish there was the human equivalent of rat poison for them so they’d all crawl out of their burrows to die in the harsh light of day.
I am particularly angry that I’m feeling this insecure again. Like it’s not ok to be different anymore. Maybe it never was. It’s sad though. I was born here. I am entitled to my rights as a citizen and yet I feel I’m not. I know millions of people feel like this right through their lives and that I am incredibly fortunate to live the life I do. I’m just worried about something that might happen in the future. There were lots of Jews who felt the same vibe in the 1930s and saved their lives by fleeing to a safer political climate.
What I want to know is this, we have hundreds of thousands of educated people and I don’t mean that they went to a university and got a first. I mean they’re cultured, educated, liberal thinkers. Why do we tolerate narrow minded nationalism, in any form? Why are we passive in the face of change, when that change is not for our good. And forget about it being for the good of the country, it clearly isn’t in anyone’s best interest to divide us along racial or religious lines.
5 comments:
Indi and Null: Anonymous comments turned on.
And I completely agree about diversity being the thing that makes this country what it is. I want to know why it is that we're letting these people try and turn us into a homogenised mass.
Great post, Azrael. Your point about how insecure Jews felt in the 1930s is very poignant.
Sometimes I see a very dark future ahead for Sri Lanka. Sinhala nationalist sentiment is on the rise (and tolerated), the peoples of this country are dividing more and more every day, and the economy is going downhill.
With poor education, no money and no prospects, the Sinhala masses are ready to lash out, if they are provoked or incited to.
It's a similar situation to 1983. Nationalists stirred up the Sinhalese. Then the LTTE killed a few soldiers, provoking the Sinhalese. And we all know what happened then...
I see the LTTE pursuing a similar policy today - they're trying to provoke the Sinhalese to start hammering Tamils, so that their cause will be justified and they will regain the international backing that they have lost in recent times.
Sri Lanka is not uniting as a people. We are dividing, and a divided society is ultimately going to end in tears.
[Sorry for my alarmist theory, but your post got me thinking]
Yo: Absolutely. If we go in to why Sri Lankans aren't uniting as a nation in opposition to everyone who takes a hardline stance, whether that's the LTTE, the UNP, SLFP or the JVP/ JHU pickle club then I'd think it would come down to apathy. To ourselves. To our fault.
Janapathi - the site you directed me to, lists LTTE violations of the CFA - which seems a rather one-sided to me.
As for the post, it wasn't so much my Final Solution as it was a reference to Hitler's plan to get rid of Jews and other 'undesirables'.
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