Four Horrid Brothers

The story of the four horrid brothers has been passed down for generations. While the details are sketchy at best, it is almost certain the events described actually did occur – somewhere in a God-forsaken country in the Middle of Nowhere...

The four brothers lived in a monastery . There names were, Percy (the parish priest) Joachimaya (the chief cashier and consultant on the best method of quelling the Buddhist, Muslim and Hindu uprisings), Arnold and Carlos (the latter two are so insignificant that no one remembers their roles but only how they used their..... never mind). All four brothers had developed a proclivity to having sex with anything that could move....and lots of things that couldn’t. The list included the usual categories i.e. women, little boys and other peoples’ pigs but had been fine tuned to cover a range of things that really should never be discussed in public.

After Brother Percy took over the Parish, its financial situation went from bad to worse. This did not take the Parish much by surprise for Brother Percy was known to be adept at lining his own pockets. This was done by converting Parish gold into pigskin – in what Br. Percy wrongly assumed to be a clever master plan. To carry out this silly scheme, he enlisted the help of Silvos, a dirty, sullen thug who was employed as the Parish gardener.

Silvos (who deserves his own paragraph) was responsible for carrying out all the unpleasant tasks in the Parish. He willing killed and maimed people the brothers didn’t like. He then dumped their bodies somewhere no one would ever find them and for this, the brothers were thoroughly beholden to him. Silvos would sometimes get drunk in the town’s little taverns and had a terrible reputation among the more decent townfolk who complained regularly to Br. Percy. They insisted the Parish should 'let go' of Silvos. But Silvos was no ordinary gardener / slash thug. He was also a behemoth with almost supernatural tendencies towards kaos creation. When he was focused on a project - as he was for the brothers - his powers were concentrated and the sheer force of his capabilities propelled him to create marvellous mysteries for the Piglets working in the town’s law enforcement agency.