And if you think this weird. It's ok. I do too.
To explain - if things are going really well at work, I will pick the time when I should be gearing up and finishing the job, to go into cruise mode. Same with my personal life - I make bad choices
and I seem to almost deliberately pick the wrong sort. On the few occassions I managed to date someone really nice and normal - it ended far sooner than it should have because they weren't tormenting me with endless issues.
It's just a vicious cycle with no escape route.
I am inexplicably attracted to the very kind of person that is bad for me. I know this. I just can't help myself. And here's the thing - the people I'm into, are into things I'm not. Like casual hook-ups and sex, like cheating, like chain-yanking, like playing mind-games. I should know enough to avoid them but I don't.
If you asked me why this happens, I'd say that I honestly didn't know. It's a terribly destructive pattern. I see it. I recognise it. But have no idea how to work it out of my system.
It's been years since I started dating and I would have thought that I'd have mastered this by now so it's upsetting that I haven't yet. And more than anything else what gets me is that I don't seem to have learned anything worthwhile on the way. When I see danger signs flashing in bright red, it only makes me want to press on further. Counter-intuitive thinking is what it should be called. Counter-intuitive and counter-productive.
What is the big deal about getting the ungettable?
3 comments:
What is the big deal about getting the ungettable?
are there any other 'deals' worth pursuing ? :-)
a for life there is no 'art' or rules to it. better do what your instincts tells you to do bc that will be your will.
I guess... but my thing is that there must be a point where you learn that certain behaviours don't yield good results and surely there's a way to stop making the same mistake?
i guess... its always a game of chance . :-)
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